A doctor’s widow had affairs with 80 married men in a bid to live her ‘s*x life to the max’, following the death of her husband Stephen, who died suddenly aged 34 in March 2004.
Mother-of-two Louise Van Der Velde says she has been living every day like it is her last – and part of that involves juggling multiple affairs with various lovers.
She meets all her lovers on Illicit Encounters (a dating site for married people), but says she shields her two children aged 17 and 12 from her affairs.
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The 43-year-old, who works as a s*x therapist, claims that most of her lovers’ wives are aware of the cheating, but decide to turn a blind eye.
”Traditional marriage counselling often fails because it is based on a model which has not been not reformed for 150 years,” said Van Der Velde.
”All this ’till death do us part’ nonsense assumes monogamy works for everyone. This is not realistic and not in line with human nature. In order for love and passion to re-enter a marriage, there are other ways.
“This is why living my s*x life to the max and educating people about the future of love is my life’s work.
”People should judge less and just have more great s*x. You sure as heck can tell the ones who need it most – the ones who are unhappy. Life’s too short to stick to s*x with only one partner.”
Van Der Velde, who is from Harrogate in North Yorkshire, revealed that she first started having s*x with other people in the last years of her marriage to her late husband.
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“We decided to embark on an open relationship in the last few years before he died. I have carried on the same way ever since. His death made me realise you have to seize the day and make the most of every day.
“We’ve all seen those couples in restaurants on February 14th staring vacantly at each other and realising they have absolutely nothing in common beyond their children and a shared commitment to stay together because that’s what you should do.”
She also explained that Valentine’s Day and other holidays are the busiest time of the year for affairs, as it is a wake-up call to so many people in ‘dead’ relationships.
“Key dates like Valentine’s, Christmas and summer holidays are a big trigger point for affairs by both s*xes.
“It really puts a relationship under the spotlight and makes many unhappy spouses realisethat there has got to be more to life than having rubbish s*x with the same boring partner for the next 50 years.
“Lots of wives only have themselves to blame when their husbands cheats. They lose interest in s*x and effectively abandon them in the bedroom.
”All their effort goes into their children and running things domestically and they devote no attention to their marriage. It’s no wonder so many men cheat. Obviously men can go off s*x, too – and I don’t blame their female partners for cheating either.
“I am not looking for another husband and I have no interest in a monogamous relationship. I want to meet s*xually driven men who are on the same page is me.
“Around 60% of couples will experience cheating in their relationship. If they were more open about s*x, there would be much less betrayal.”
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