When you try to think about the most serious and dramatic conversations that you have ever had with your partner, it’s most often conducted personally and face to face. For instance, think back to the first time you told your man you loved him. It’s likely that it was done in person, right? If you did it over text, then it wouldn’t really have the same kind of impact.
But not a lot of people are always going to be comfortable with having face to face conversations. There are plenty of us who would prefer texting as a mode of communication because it offers a sense of protection and safety. And it’s true. There is a lot more emotional weight and vulnerability whenever serious discussions take place in person. But not having to stare at a person right in the eyes when you say something serious is always going to offer a sense of relief.
A lot of women say that men don’t really know how to text or craft their messages. But the truth is that men can rightfully say the same thing. And just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean that you are automatically the better communicator in the relationship. There is always going to be room for improvement in the way that you communicate with one another.
You always want to be looking into the way that you communicate with your partner – even through text. You might not think much of the things that you’re sending him over text but he might already be irritated or upset without your knowledge. There are a lot of girls who text the wrong things to their guys every day. And you want to make sure that you aren’t guilty of doing the same:
1. “Did you receive my last message?”
Yes, he received your last message. And obviously, this is just a passive-aggressive way for you to ask him why he hasn’t responded to you yet. You have to be patient. He might be busy with other things. He can’t always be willing to drop whatever he’s doing just to respond to your text.
2. “I’m really upset right now.”
Yes, misery loves company. And you might need your man to help get you through a stressful time. However, you need to be sensitive to him as well. He might be going through his own stuff that he needs to deal with too.
3. “I don’t know.”
If he asks you an opinion on something, please do give him an honest answer. He is looking for your input and that’s exactly why he asked for it. Don’t be replying “I don’t know” to him even when you so obviously have an opinion on the matter.
4. “Did you do that errand I assigned to you?”
Instead of bombarding him, micromanaging him, and treating him like a child, be respectful of him. You don’t have to be hounding him all of the time to do something. A little trust can go a long way in the relationship.
5. “Why are you busy this weekend?”
Don’t be too controlling of his time. If he makes plans with his friends or if he has work duties that he needs to attend to, then you shouldn’t guilt him for it. Allow him his freedom.
6. “My friend’s boyfriend took her to this place…”
Again, passive-aggressiveness isn’t going to be good for him. And worse, you’re comparing him to another guy. That isn’t something he wants to be hearing from you.
7. “Why aren’t you replying to me?”
Again, he might be doing something else with his life. You have to remember that your relationship doesn’t rule over his life. There are other people and things that require his attention. He’s going to reply to you when he gets the chance to do so.
8. “5 more minutes!”
You need to learn to be more sensitive of his time. Yes, you want to make sure that you look your best and that’s why you want to take extra time to beautify yourself. However, you shouldn’t always be so willing to keep him waiting. He also has a schedule that he wants to stick to.
9. “Sorry, I have to cancel tonight.”
Last-minute cancellations always suck and they’re very inconsiderate. Sure, an emergency might come up and it would be easy for him to understand why you have to cancel. But if you cancel on him frequently enough, he’s going to end up losing the trust that he has for you.
10. “You never do anything for me anymore.”
For one thing, you always need to avoid speaking in superlatives or extremes. To say that he “never” does anything for you is obviously an exaggeration and it will feel very unfair to him. And also, instead of telling him that he doesn’t do anything for you, you should just actually let him know of what he can do to make you feel better about the relationship. Be direct instead of passive-aggressive.