“Unconditional love” – What does that mean exactly?
Why is it so important in relationships? Well, when you love someone unconditionally, you are essentially choosing to love a person regardless of what happens within or without your relationship. It means that you are committing to loving a person and having the love that will not be altered by any factors, whether internal or external. It means that you are going to enjoy a person, whether they are rich or poor. It means that you love a person, whether they are successes or failures. It means that you love a person whether they are sick or health, fat or thin, tall or short. It means that you love a person no matter what.
A lot of people will make the mistakes of thinking that unconditional love entails a sense of codependency in a relationship. But that’s not the case. Codependency is terrible for a relationship, but unconditional love can only strengthen a relationship. Unconditional love doesn’t mean that you have to give up your beliefs, principles, and dreams for the sake of the person that you’re with. It means that despite all of the turmoil and the pressure, you are both still willing to come together to try and make things work. It means that you are both ready to always treat each other with kindness, whether it’s convenient or not. It means that you show each other the basic respect that you think you are both deserving of. Having unconditional love in a relationship means having us against the world kind of mentality; it’s letting your partner know that even if the world doesn’t understand them, you are always going to be on their side. You defend each other, and you have each other’s backs.
It’s an beautiful thing when you learn to love someone unconditionally, and to have that love reciprocated your way as well. However, there are many relationships wherein the unconditional love is either one-sided or lacking. Not all attachments are created equal, contrary to what most people are inclined to believe. Your partner might love you, but sometimes, certain conditions come attached to that love. And that’s when you know that love is unsustainable. That’s the kind of love that will falter and fade away whenever disappointment starts to rear its ugly head. That’s the kind of love that will fail the moment that the conditions aren’t being met. That’s the kind of love that will run away when things start to get a little awkward and inconvenient.
So how do you know if you are unfortunate enough to be in that kind of relationship? How do you do if you have a partner who loves you, albeit, on a conditional basis? Well, it’s essential that you know where your partner stands with regard to loving you and being in a relationship with you. You need that security and peace of mind that comes with knowing that you have a relationship that is built on unconditional love. So be vigilant. Here are five signs that your partner doesn’t love you, unconditionally.
1. They don’t want to have to deal with whatever personal issues you have.
They understand that you have your issues and that you have your drama. And if a person loves you unconditionally, they would always make it a point to help you deal with those issues. Conditional lovers will not want to have anything to do with those issues.
2. They get upset whenever you are unable to make time for them.
They are clingy and demanding. They won’t like it whenever you aren’t able to give them the time that they think they need from you in a relationship. They will want you to stick by their side at all times. Their love for you is dependent on the amount of time that you’re willing to give to them.
3. They always give you unreasonably high standards to live up to.
It’s normal to have standards and expectations in a relationship. However, couples should always be communicating with one another about these standards to come to reasonable mutual understandings.
4. They withdraw into a shell whenever problems start to surface in a relationship.
They will vanish into nothingness whenever things get too hard in your relationship. They are only there for the good times, but they will want nothing to do with the bad times. They only love you when it’s easy, but they would bail at the first signs of difficulty.
5. They turn you into a little science project wherein they try to change you into the idealized versions they have of you in their minds.
You are going to know that love is not unconditional whenever your partner makes you feel like they don’t accept you as you are. They continuously try to change the things that make up your personality, whether it be the big or little things. There’s nothing wrong with pushing your partner to become the best version of themselves. But there is something wrong when you try to change your partner into another person entirely.
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