Stop being so hard on yourself!
We are all human; we try to be as happy as healthy as possible, but sometimes we let negativity get the best of us, happens to all of us. Some people have better ways of dealing with negativity than others, the key here is not to let it overcome you and your emotions, or you’ll slowly be engulfed in a pool of negative thoughts and nowhere to go.
Everyone will try helping you, but you’ll think they’re trying to hurt you because when negative thoughts take over, they ultimately lead to paranoia. I’ve helped a lot of people (including myself) get out of this negative vibe, to learn how to turn negative thoughts into positive ones quickly.
I talk about this in a lot of my articles, no one likes to be around negativity, so if you ever find yourself being trapped in your thoughts, give this a read.
Here are 10 of the most common negative thoughts people have and how to deal with them.
10. I need to change myself for them
Life is a precious gift, and your individuality is even more expensive. You should never let the pressures of the world change you from who you are to someone you would never want to be. Yes, it’s a sad fact that not everyone is going to wholeheartedly accept you for who you are and will want to change a few (if not all) things about you and mold you to their liking, don’t do it.
Be your individual, you have your unique personality, and you need to love yourself for it no matter what people tell you. Always remember, this is YOUR life; YOU need to live it. Don’t change for people no matter how close you think they are to you, because the people who care about you will never expect you to change a single thing.
9. They should change for me
This is the other end of the road based on my previous point; you cannot and should not expect anyone to change according to your liking. Embrace the people you’re with, love them for who they are, grow with them, learn with them, make mistakes with them, live life with them, never expect anyone to be any different because you can’t accept them the way they are.
You need to be more accepting of the world if you want the world to be taking of you. Don’t be someone who loves drama, because drama is one of the leading causes of a lot of negativity, stay away from the scene and live a happy and simple life with the people who genuinely appreciate you and care about you no matter how different they are from you.
8. Their presence is more comfortable than mine
No one lives a happy or comfortable life, and I mean NO ONE. If your life seems hard, try to be healthy, and overcome the obstacles, don’t think that someone else has a more comfortable experience than yours just because you’re going through a rough patch. You have no idea what it’s like to be in their shoes; you can’t judge them if they’re happy right now because you have no idea how many tears they’d shed before.
One of the easiest ways of getting out of difficult situations in life is to find happiness in the happiness of others, embrace their joy, and share it, don’t hate it. Don’t be someone who can’t see people happy without complaining.
7. I can’t make a difference
Oh, you can, trust me, you can. Life rewards those who truly accept its challenges and get through them by any means necessary. Be a kind and gentle person, help those in need even if you are hurting. Never let anyone bring you down and tell you, “you’re nothing,” “your opinion doesn’t matter,” “you should just shut up,” stay away from people who tell you you’re not worth it because you are.
If I stayed with the company I kept four years ago, I’d be a frail man today. But I learned that the negativity those people had was slowly eating away at me, so I left. Now I’m in a much healthier company of people who genuinely know my strengths and weaknesses and tell me I can do anything. Have faith in yourself and love yourself because you are amazing.
6. It’s not my fault
Blaming others for things they did or didn’t do is one of the weakest and easiest things to do in the world. Blaming is easy because you don’t have to do anything other than telling people how they made a mistake and how they shouldn’t have made that mistake instead of trying to help someone. Don’t be that person, the person who always tells people what they did wrong, we all make mistakes, so do you, learn to accept your mistakes rather than blaming others for them.
5. I can’t forgive them
Yes, you can, and you will. Holding grudges against people is the root of a lot of negativity in your system, and you don’t need any of that. Yes, I understand, they hurt you badly, and you can’t forgive them. Don’t do it for them; do it for your self and salvation.
Try forgiving them for the mistakes they’ve made, you’ll find yourself at peace, you’ll find yourself relieved of a lot of stress and weight, be the bigger person by forgiving them, not only will you be happier and healthier, they’ll remember how loving you are and will think thrice before hurting you again. If you want to be successful in life, you need to be a positive person. Let the negativity leave your system; let go of the grudges.
4. I don’t have time for people
I’ve said this several times, “Everyone is busy; it’s all about priorities.” If you think you’re too busy for someone just because your life seems more important than theirs, you’re wrong, and you need to change that way of thinking. You can never be too busy for anyone, no matter how active your lifestyle is, always find time for the people who care about you; otherwise, you’ll be taking them for granted.
People who genuinely care about you, they take time out for you, they make sure you’re happy, and then they worry about their busy schedules, you need to be like that too otherwise you’re on your way to a very lonely life ahead.
3. It’s okay to lie a little
No, it’s not. Lying is wrong no matter the intensity of the lie, a lie is a lie, just because it’s a “small lie” it doesn’t mean it’s going to be true. If you lie once, you’ll slowly develop a habit of lying now and then, and soon you’ll find yourself trapped in a web of lies, each new lie being more significant than the last one.
So make it clear in your mind, lying is not okay, even if you think it’s for the sake of your relationship because any relationship that is based on a lie (big or small) is going to be weak, you can’t construct a building based on a weak foundation, be a real person. I know the truth can be painful sometimes, I know it is right to some people will backfire on you, but in the end, you’ll at least be the person with nothing to hide, and hence you won’t be weak in front of anyone. Be strong and be correct.
2. I failed once; I’ll fail again
Every fantastic success story has a lot of failures and a lot of downfalls involved. You can not achieve anything in life without taking risks, and risks often lead to crashes, but you need to learn from your failures and don’t let them bring you down.
Life is full of ups and downs, enjoy both of them, learn from the downs, and be thankful for the ups, and don’t let your success get to your head once you’ve achieved it. You’ll fail countless times in life, but you will win too as long as you remain healthy and hopeful, you can do it, have faith in yourself.
1. The past will always haunt me
Your history doesn’t have any power over you; it’s you who isn’t letting it go. What happened in the past should not affect the way you look at the future and live life in the present. Your history is only as powerful as you make it, if you let your mind make it sturdy enough, it’ll take over your life, so don’t give it the power to rule you, to begin with.
Think of the ghosts of your past, think of the mistakes, think of the pain, do whatever is necessary to bring your mind at peace. Apologize to people if you’ve hurt them, forgive the people who have hurt you, make amends. You can’t change your past, but you sure can use the lessons from it to make sure your future is as bright as you want it to be.
Talk to me
That’s about it for this one. If you guys have anything to add to this, anything that’s been haunting you or how you got out of a tight negative spot, please share your thoughts with me in the comments below. As always, be strong and keep the love alive!