Cheating is one of the cruel truths of life, it has happened with all of us at some point in time, and it is essential to grow and learn how to deal with people and know who to trust. When we first fall in love, we are very vulnerable; when we slowly go through these harsh realities, we learn to be stronger as individuals and better deal with people and life’s severe events.
This article is going to be for those who have been cheated on and don’t know how to deal with it, don’t lose your mind over it, I know it’s a tight spot to be in (I’ve been in it myself), but you’ll get through it.
Here is a step-by-step guide on how to cope with being cheated on.
Step 1 – Don’t do anything rash or impulsive.
So you just found out you were cheated on by the person you’ve spent months or years with and were so in love with, breathe! Take some time out for yourself, do not do anything rash, do not make sudden decisions, and relax.
It has happened, you can’t do anything about it to reverse the event, you can’t be “uncheated” on, you probably have a thousand questions boiling up in your mind, and your life might seem like it’s suddenly just paused, but you need to be active here.
You need to understand that there are a lot of things you need to do before you can even confront your partner about it because if you face them in anger, you won’t get anything out of them except for a “sorry” or “it was a mistake, and it’ll never happen again.” So calm down, take a deep breath, and spend some time alone to calm your nerves first.
Step 2 – Talk to your most trusted person.
We all have one person we trust more than everyone else, who’s always there when no one seems to care and never let us down. It could be a family member or the closest of friends, I have mine (he’s my best friend), and I’m sure you have yours.
We often go to them for advice or peace of mind, when we need to talk something out, something no one else is willing to hear. Go to your trusted person, tell them everything, because you must share your feelings with someone.
If you stay alone for too long with so many questions in your head, you will have horrible side effects on your health and well-being. Talk it out with your best buddy or the family member you always confide in; it’ll help you feel a little bit better, you’ll feel like a significant burden on your shoulders has just been shared, and you don’t hold it alone anymore.
Step 3 – Avoid blaming yourself.
When we love someone a little too much, and they still cheat on us, we often start blaming ourselves because we love them too much to blame them. Don’t let yourself be put in that position. You were cheated on, something unjust was done to you, don’t be unfair with yourself.
You need to strengthen yourself right now, not make yourself weaker by asking yourself a million questions like “Is it my fault?”, “Did I do something to make this happen?” “Did I mistreat them?”. You can analyze the situation later; right now, try your best to make yourself healthy. You are your worst enemy if you want to be.
Step 4 – Confront your partner.
This is going to be the hardest step of all, the confrontation. Talk it out, all of it, let them know precisely how this whole scenario has made you feel but try your level best not to show weakness; you can’t be weak during the confrontation.
Tell them exactly how this has affected you and how you feel, don’t leave anything inside and lay it all out in front of them. It might just be a misunderstanding if you’re lucky, and they’ll clear it right there and then.
If it were more than a misunderstanding, they’d start talking about how and why it happened. If they cherish their relationship with you, they will show a lot of weakness, they will apologize, but you still have to remain active for the next step.
Step 5 – Analyze the situation.
Now it’s your turn to sit and think about the entire job. You know everything, it’s all in front of you, and nothing is hidden anymore. Now it’s up to you to analyze the case; how bad was the entire thing? Can it be reversed? Can you forgive them?
Generally, when it comes to small lies or minor events, people tend to overlook to save the relationship, but in more brutal cases where things are just ugly, people decide to let go and move on alone. Was it that bad? Can you forgive them? Now that you know everything, it’s time for the most crucial step of the process.
Step 6 – Take a decision and stand by it.
So, can you forgive them? If the answer is “yes,” move on to step 7. If the answer is “no” because the situation was just too horrid even to forgive, you need to muster up the courage to let them go and find someone who can cherish you enough never to let something so horrible happen.
But if you choose to move on and break things up with them, make sure you stand by your decision never to take them back; if you don’t think you’re strong enough to live without them, you need to consider the next step.
Step 7 – Forgive them, and mean it.
If you’ve decided to forgive them, make sure you mean it. Don’t say “it’s okay” if you still feel empty inside. Take as much time as you need, but don’t be okay with them unless you’re okay with them; faking it will only damage the relationship internally and will increase the distance between the two of you.
Remember that we are all human; we make mistakes; it’s the most divine thing in the world to forgive someone and never mention it again. If you decide to take this path, make sure you do it the real way.
Question of the day
Have you been cheated on? How did you deal with it? Leave your answers in the comments below, and the best solution will get a rule written on them on our page. As always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!