Are you trying to figure out if he’s a commitment-phobe or not? Is he serious with you or just want to have fun? Here’s what to look for!
If you’re wondering whether or not your partner is serious about you, there are some surefire ways to figure it out on your own.
That’s not to say that each one of these signs serves as a pass/fail indicator of his commitment to you, but a combination of these things should give you a clear picture of what he wants from you.
It could be that he’s been hurt in the past and ia taking it slow because he doesn’t want to get hurt again, but then it could be a lot of things.
If he is in fact afraid or unwilling to commit, figuring out why is step two. First, you need to find out if he is willing to cross that barrier with you or not. Here are some definite signs that he doesn’t want to go the long haul.
1. He doesn’t like holding hands
Holding hands is a symbolic act. Would you hold hands with someone who was barely more than a friend? Absolutely not! That would be weird.
The reason you wouldn’t want to do so is because you wouldn’t want to fool yourself or pretend in any way that you care for or even possibly love them. You wouldn’t want to play games with your own heart so to speak. Holding hands is something that is reserved for couples in love.
2. He doesn’t want to cuddle
If you find it difficult to get him to embrace you and hold you, that’s not a good sign. Even if he kind of doesn’t like to cuddle for some reason, he should care about you enough to do it sometimes if he knows you like it.
3. He doesn’t kiss much
If he pulls back when you go in for a sensual make-out session, that’s also not a good sign. There’s a lot of emotion involved in kissing, and if he is trying to steer clear of turning up the feelings, that’s as clear as day that he’s not in it for the long run. It could be that he doesn’t like French kissing so much, but not wanting to kiss altogether is very unusual.
4. He doesn’t want to meet your family
This is especially true about your parents. If he would rather not meet them, that should raise a red flag. If it’s too early, say within the first six months or so, that’s understandable. Beyond the one year mark, however, he should have warmed up to the idea of meeting your family, including your folks.
5. He’s not opening up and telling you personal things
Even if he’s a rock, he should still let you in at some point. If you ask him questions and he lies to avoid sharing personal things, he could be protecting you from some kind of secret. He could also be protecting himself from involving you deeply in his life.
6. He doesn’t ask you personal things or show genuine concern
If he seems uninterested in your deepest problems, he might not care to know. It’s possible that he views you as someone he still needs to say goodbye to at some point. In that case, getting to know the inner you is probably not a priority.
7. He doesn’t make plans with you often
This might be his way of keeping you at a distance. It could be that both of you have a busy schedule and you can only meet once a week or so.
That would work to his advantage if his goal was to keep you from getting too close. If he doesn’t seem to be busy and you ask him to hang out, but he still says he can’t that might be what he’s doing. He also might be seeing someone else.
8. He texts other girls
If he’s evidently still keeping his options open, it’s unlikely that he views you as ‘The One’ or anything like that. This could eventually die down, so don’t condemn him based solely on this, but be aware that it’s definitely not a good sign at any stage of a relationship.
9. He’s keeping your relationship off social media
Even if he agrees to be Facebook official, he might still not want to share pictures of you together. A reluctance to share your relationship status and pictures of you two means he might not be 100% sure about you, or that he’d rather keep your relationship private.
10. He’s unwilling to maintain eye contact
Whether it’s during a casual conversation or in the bedroom, he should feel comfortable enough to look you in the eye. If it becomes evident that he has trouble doing that, it could be that he feels guilty about something or is trying to keep you from reaching him emotionally.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé