Are you thinking about moving in with your boyfriend? It may sound very exciting, but before you make this very essential decision, consider the following.
Chances are, we’ve all been there at some point in time whilst in a serious relationship. It’s pretty normal. You find yourself head-over-heels in love with someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.
Why else would you consider a drastic move like that anyway? However, it’s not an easy decision to make, especially if you’ve been down a similar once before. You want to make sure you’re making the right move for the right reasons, and that your partner is as serious as you are.
Moving in with your boyfriends shouldn’t be taken lightly, but it’s definitely something you should do at least once in your lifetime.
It’s a unique experience with many learning curves, so before you decide to move in with your boyfriend, take into consideration the following 10 factors to ensure you’re making the right decision.
1. Are you emotionally ready for moving in with your boyfriend?
Moving in with someone you’re in a relationship with is a big commitment – ultimately meaning you’re taking the relationship to a whole new level.
This type of commitment should only be done if you’re both emotionally ready to do so. It could potentially ruin your relationship if you decide, halfway through the process that it’s not for you.
Thoughtlly, you should live on your own to experience what that’s like before moving in with your boyfriend.
2. Would you be comfortable with household chores?
Let’s face it, once you move in with your boyfriend, chances are you’re going to have to do more chores than you originally thought. If he’s a good man, he’ll help.
Hopefully even pick up his own socks and throw them in the laundry basket – instead of right next to it. However, that also means that you’d have to pull your own weight if you’re not able to afford help.
So take into consideration that you’ll potentially become a ‘mini-wife’ before your time.
3. Do you want to see your boyfriend every single day?
It may seem like an easy one to answer yes to, but if you’re used to being independent and have your own life apart from being in a relationship, then it might be a huge adjustment to see our boyfriend every single day.
Sure, it may be fun in the beginning, but that also wears off (sorry to be so blunt) However, it’s a fact. Unless you’re sure of wanting to spend every possible moment with him, you might want to hold off on packing in.
4. Would it be a wise financial decision?
Sharing rent is definitely a bonus, but remember, you’ll be paying double on sure other things like food. Instead of buying just for one and having a monthly budget of what you can spend, you’re going to have to fork out a little bit more each month in order to afford two meals.
However, don’t let that stop you. It’s always easier splitting bills. Even more so when it’s with someone you love.
5. Do your family and friends approve of him?
To some, it makes a big difference, to others not so much. However, when choosing to move in with your boyfriend, you’ll ultimately declare him taken for the long haul.
This means he’ll be attending Christmas dinners, birthdays, and other essential family events. In that case, he needs to be liked by most of the people you care about. They only want the best for you and will be able to spot a chancer from a mile away.
6. Do you have a backup plan in case moving in with your boyfriend doesn’t work out?
I’m by no means saying it won’t work, but just in case it doesn’t, you need to have a backup plan. This includes having enough money for your own place in the unlikely event that you decide to break up.
Surely you can’t keep living together and someone’s going to have to move. None-the-less, it’s always a great idea to have a backup plan in any event – especially if you’re used to being independent.
7. Is he someone you see yourself getting married to?
This remains the ultimate question. After all, the whole reason for dating in your mid-late twenties is to find long-lasting love, right? Why else would you go through all the changes and move in with your boyfriend if all you’re after is to live with someone?
It would be much easier just to find someone who can split the rent with you. So if you can see yourself getting married to your boyfriend, and he can see the same path with you, then by all means.
Remember, it’s crucial to ensure the feelings are mutual before making such a big decision.
8. Is your relationship strong enough to survive sudden changes?
Moving in together isn’t a minor change. In fact, living together requires both parties to make sacrifices beyond what you may be comfortable at first.
You’re going from seeing each other a couple of times a week, never seeing the ‘dirty’ side to your spouse, to sudden seeing it all.
Your relationship needs to be strong enough to survive these major changes otherwise you need to hold off for a little while until your relationship grows deeper.
9. Are you okay with the fact that he may not fully commit?
Sad to say, some men get comfortable and will only commit as far as you push them. I’m by no means saying your boyfriend is like that, but you need to be prepared to wait quite some time before he decides to propose – if you decide to move in with him.
Remember, by moving in together, you’re giving him everything he wants and more without having to put a ring on it. By agreeing to move in with him, you’re delaying the process of getting married.
This could be a real show stopper if you’re someone who needs that type of commitment.
10. Do you see yourself waking up next to him every morning?
At the end of the day, you will be the one waking up next to him every morning and vice versa. You’ll experience bad breath and he’ll see your messy hair.
However, when you’re in love, there’s nothing more you’d want than to experience those things. If you see yourself not wanting to wake up alone anymore, but instead, wake up next to him every morning, then go for it!
Besides, there’s nothing more comforting than feeling the arms of a person who loves you around you in the middle of the night.
Bonus question: What does your gut tell you?
Listening to your gut and trusting it is one of the most powerful tools you possess, as a woman. Don’t let that go to waste. Your gut is always right and will guide you in the right direction – whether you’re meant to move in with your boyfriend or stay where you are.
See it as a blessing, whatever your intuition may be telling you. Remember, you’re the one who will live with the consequences, so it’s essential to do what’s right for you.
Replying ‘yes’ to most of the above questions gives you a pretty good indication of whether or not you’re making this decision based on rational choices or if you’re going with the flow due to sure circumstances.
It’s essential to keep your eyes wide open when the option of moving in with your boyfriend crosses your mind.
However, don’t be afraid to take the leap of faith to find out if you’d come out the other stronger together than living separately. It may take a few adjustments and sure compromises in order to make it work, but you tend to grow together and make the necessary changes to please your partner.
After all, moving in with your boyfriend wouldn’t have crossed your mind if you didn’t absolutely adore him, right?
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé