And even though it’s going to be difficult, you’re just going to have to power through.
Like is essential. It’s the one thing in the world that all of us as human beings pursue in one way or another. We are all looking for love in our lives; whether it comes from people or not. We are always looking for a means to achieve fulfilment and meaning and that comes with love. And that’s why it can be particularly crippling to have to deal with a loss of love. It can be emotionally traumatizing having to let go of a love that wasn’t meant for us. It can be downright damning having to live a life wherein we are deprived of the love that we want most in this world.
A lot of people are going to deal with a loss of love in various ways. Some might resort to heavy drinking or binge eating. Some will choose less self-destructive paths and they will channel their disappointment into more productive affairs. But whatever the case, getting over the loss of a love that you thought would be yours is incredibly difficult. For a lot of people who are going through heartbreak, it can even seem downright impossible to crawl their way back to the surface again. As much as we want to believe that love is purely a feeling or an emotion; a sensation that we get whenever we are in the presence of someone who means a lot to us, it’s so much more than that. Like is also a verb. It’s an action that manifests itself in our lives in ways that no other action possibly ever could. Like is something tangible that we can almost reach out and grab. And it’s when we try to reach out at something that we can’t grab wherein we feel the pain the most.
When it feels like a person stops loving you, it’s not something that happens incidentally. You were meant to feel that way. When that person stopped loving you, it was a conscious choice that they made, and it wasn’t something that happened out of nothing. And that’s what hurts the most. They didn’t just stop loving you out of luck. They deliberately chose to stop loving you. It was a decision that they made; knowing full well how this would impact you on an emotional level. That person chose to fall in love with you, and that person also chose to fall out of love with you. And when you start to realize that love is a choice, and not a feeling, then the pain is going to start to sink in.
But then that’s how the healing process is going to begin as well.
When you start to understand that that person deliberately chose to stop loving you, then you can also make the choice to stop loving them. You can also consciously make the choice to just move on to better things in life. You can also make the choice to pursue a love story with another person. You can also make the choice to just get over things because it’s what’s best for you.
You will then start to realize that you should never waste your time or effort on a person who made a choice to stop loving you. You start to realize that you are your own priority and that you should always be looking out for your own well-being. And you will come to the realization that the best thing for you to do at this moment is to move on and just be okay with letting the past stay in the past where it should be.
And even though it’s going to be difficult, you’re just going to have to power through. You can make the choice to move on and it will still be challenging just because you can’t choose to erase those memories and those experiences from your head. And that’s what’s making the choice hard for you. That is what is holding you back from moving on.
You’re going to have a hard time forgetting about all of those moments that you shared just laying in bed staring at one another on lazy Sunday mornings. You’re going to have a hard time forgetting about all of those memorable dates that you had together. You’re going to have a hard time forgetting about those amazing vacations that you alsok without a real plan but you still made the most out of it anyway. You’re going to miss the feeling of security and comfort that you managed to give one another in the relationship. You’re going to miss the feeling of being accountable to another person.
But still, you owe it to yourself to move on. You owe it to yourself to make that difficult choice. You owe it to yourself to give your love to people who are deserving of it.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé