Whether they’re in a first or a 50th relationship, people are always wondering how to say I love you for the first time without making a fool of themselves.
Saying I love you to somebody, especially for the first time, can be one of the most nerve-wracking, daunting, and most exciting times in any relationship.
There’s this person who you think the world of and who (hopefully) feels the same about you, and now you’ve just realized that you’re in love with them. You feel the most powerful emotion you can possibly feel for another person.
At this point, there will be so many unanswered questions running through your mind; what if they don’t feel the same? What if I’m just confused and don’t actually love them?
Is it too early on to be in love? How do I even let them know I love them without messing it up and making a complete fool out of myself?
Hopefully some of these tips below will help you to answer some of these questions and make saying I love you for the first time a little bit less daunting, and a little bit more like the exciting milestone it’s supposed to be:
1) Design sure it’s the right time for your relationship
Too early and some people might freak, but some people may fall in love very quickly and prefer their partners to say those three words early on.
It’s easy to take generic advice about waiting three months or whatever but if that’s not right for you and your partner, say I love you when you’re ready.
You know your partner better than I do so you probably have a good idea of how they’ll react.
I also think it’s good to remember that, if you’ve been together for a significant amount of time and your partner runs away at the sound of I love you then they probably aren’t right for you.
2) Remember that girls can make the first move
I know a lot of girls (and guys) still have the belief that the guy should make the first move when it comes to relationships- he should text first, he should ask the girl out, he should say I love you first.
However, that’s a little outdated in this day and age. We’re at a time now where relationships are much more equal than they used to be, which means that girls can make the first move and don’t have to worry about doing so.
Do you want to go on a date with a guy? Inquire him out! You think it’s been too long after your date to have not texted each other? Text him first; he’s probably waiting for you to do it.
You’ve fallen in love with your new boyfriend but he hasn’t said he loves you yet? Disclose him! Life’s too short to wait for someone else to make the first move.
3) Don’t say it if you don’t mean it
Like I said above, you know your partner well enough to guess at how they will react, but you also know yourself. Droping in love doesn’t happen lightly so if you think you’re in love with someone, you probably are.
If you have to ask how you know if you’re in love, you’re probably not there yet. When you know, you know.
Also, don’t say I love you because you think you’ve been in a relationship for too long so one of you has to say it because ‘I love you’ is probably one of the cruelest things you can say to someone if you don’t mean it.
If you’re at that point you need to sit down and talk- sometimes this can happen because both of you are too scared to make the first move but you’ve both been in love for months, and sometimes it can happen because you’re just never going to feel that about each other.
4) Don’t feel pressured to make it into a big gesture
Sometimes saying it as you’re watching a box set on the sofa in your sweats is romantic enough. If you’re a big gesture couple, however, by all means, go for it.
Take them to a nice restaurant, or pack a lavish picnic go to the park and say it there. Like I keep mentioning, you know your partner better well and only you’ll know what they’d like.
Do whatever feels right to you and your relationship.
5) Hold it casual if you’re nervous
Obviously not so casual that you come off as disinterested, but casual enough that there’s no pressure on either of you. By casual, I mean saying it when you’re already doing something that you usually do.
This could be anything from cuddling in bed, cooking a meal together, or washing the dishes.
If you just say it like you’ve said it before it won’t be as nerve-wracking, and if you seem casual there won’t be as much pressure on your partner to say it back.
6) Don’t be disheartened if they don’t say it back
If they don’t say I love you back to you, it doesn’t mean they don’t like you or won’t love you in the future, it just means they’re not at the same stage yet and that’s ok (but definitely bring it up if they leave it too long before they say it to you).
They could also not say it back because they want to make the first time they say it a special moment for you.
7) Don’t try to fill any silences
It’s a big thing to say to someone so if they need a minute or two to think about how they’re going to respond, let them. Silences are not always a bad thing.
Don’t try to fill any silences because that can just make it awkward or it can lead to your partner saying something they didn’t want to say, depending on how they’re feeling.
Also, don’t apologize. If you’re apologizing for saying I love you then the other person may feel like you didn’t mean it.
I hope some of these tips have been useful to some of you. Just remember that, when it comes to saying I love you for the first time, there aren’t any definitive answers.
Every person and every relationship is different and, when it’s the right time to be declaring your love for your partner, you’ll know. You should always listen to your gut because it usually knows what’s right.
In terms of how to say I love you for the first time, get to know your partner.
Knowing them well will let you know whether they will want this milestone in your relationship to be a casual thing or a grand gesture.
However, know what you want as well; if you’re not comfortable with a big gesture you don’t have to make it into one.
Saying I love you is supposed to be a wonderful moment in any relationship so don’t get too hung up on worrying about how to say it and just enjoy the moment!
Does anyone have any other tips for how to say I love you for the first time? Let us know in the comments!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé